Today I am full of emotions but not exactly sure how to put them all down.

It was one year ago today that I started this Next Chapter.  The date wasn't planned but it just so happens to be Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to reflect on those who have lost their lives living their authentic self.  Transgender people that have been murdered due to hate/bigotry/violence but should also include those who have taken their own lives as a result of not being able to deal with the pressures of their journey.

1/2015

I feel very blessed that I have had a smooth transition.  I have a great support system with Family and Friends,  near and far.  I have always lived my life with the guidance that if it's meant to be, it will be.  This is also why I feel that this year has been a whirlwind with transitioning physically and mentally.  So many people have/need to wait years to start/live their authentic lives, be it starting hormones or getting surgeries.  I see so many people that have intense struggles with mental health, religion, family etc.  Sometimes I think that this has been too easy for me but then I remember that I haven't had those struggles in my life, I've always had the strength to live authentically.  I wish "society" would let everyone be/live as themselves.

11/20/2015

 

I went to the Dr. in the beginning of the month and got my levels checked.   Estrogen is down to 66 from 90 and Testosterone is at 712.   Everything is good!  I still weigh the same but the fat is re distributing to my belly.  I need to start working on getting rid of that.  My skin is getting so thick and I have the worse acne on my back!  The hair is growing all over my back.  The beard is taking it's sweet time but coming in although it's getting kind of scraggly.  The mustache is still small and light.  It seems that it takes about guys about 2yrs for it to be fuller and come up over the chin.

11/2015

My chest is healing nicely.  I am happy with the results.  I see the possibility of getting a revision to take care of the "dog ears" along the back/sides.  Unfortunately because of my breast reduction 12yrs ago, I do have some bigger scars along the sides.  It is still a bit sensitive, I think it is the nerves slowly coming back.  The hair has been growing on my belly and is slowly coming along on my chest.

 I loved summer!  Swimming was amazing! Feeling so free after 47yrs is amazing!

 It's interesting on how my everyday interactions have changed.  The biggest thing I have had to get used to is the way guys talk to other guys.   It's very hard to explain but it is so much more down played and casual.  Mainly in the greeting or closing interactions.  "Hey man, thanks man...one time I got "Hey chief".....  What is that all about??    For the most part people are doing a good job switching from female to male pro nouns.  There are a couple people that just can't get it.  I still understand that it takes time.  Usually if people catch their mistake right away it's fine.  I am understanding the frustrations with this though.  I'm at the point where new people that I come into contact with don't know of my transition.  It's not that I don't want people to know but I will only be open to those I choose.  When someone slips up with the pro-nouns, it is "outing" me to this new person. 

11/20/2014  5/15  8/15  11/20/2015

I don't know if I will do any more blogging.  I'm not great at it and now that the first year is over major changes have taken place, I'm not sure what I will have to add.  I have talked to a few people that have mentioned that this has been a good thing for them to follow.  Not realizing it at the time, I am flattered that putting my story out there has done some good.  I guess that's all I can ask for...