Well my weekly blogging went out the window.  This last week has been crazy with work and Thanksgiving but here I am today.

I am finding that when Monday comes around I start getting excited for Thursdays.  That means one more shot in my system, one tiny step closer in transforming my body. 

A physical step I took this week was receiving the binders I ordered.  I wore one the first night to work and one last night out and about.  It is challenging at work with all the movement but just have to deal with it and adjust as needed.  It's almost harder because having them compressed makes me more aware of them and that's annoying.  Last night went well, still trying to find clothes that help.  Looks like I'm going to have to layer with shirts which will suck when it gets warmer since the binder is a bit hot by itself. 

This only makes me want to have chest surgery even faster though.  It's frustrating to try so hard to hide and pretend that they aren't there.  Why does money have to rule the world?  Just trying to live and I have to wait and save until I can be happy getting rid of what I have despised about myself for so long?

One thing last night was even though I was wearing a binder, so in my mind I was more visibly a man.....someone still used female pronouns towards me.  That really pissed me off.  Angie pointed out that my voice and features were still female.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is a slow process and to have patience.  I have to adjust just as everyone else does.

The Next Chapter

It has been 3 days since my life has turned in a new direction!  I'm not going to promise anything on this blog but to just say what's on my mind at the time.  I will do this once a week, on shot day (Thursdays)

This has been a long time coming.....10yrs in fact.  When Angie and I met it was just "there" that I would someday transition.  As time passed we started talking about it more and more.  Last week Angie found our that her younger sister in Washington announced that she was going to transition to a man.  For me, this was the final straw of realization that I am truly not happy with my body.  I'd had enough with the female pronouns from strangers, over compensating  because they were uncomfortable with a bald female in front of them.  I didn't know how to take the first step.  I thought I would have to find a therapist but didn't know who.  I asked the advice of a friend that gave me a few options.  I decided to call the obgyn that deals with trans people. Two days later, after a hour and a half I walked out of the Drs office with a prescription for Testosterone.  Needless to say I was shocked and excited.  It was an emotional afternoon for Angie and I.  We weren't prepared for it to happen out of the blue.  Go figure huh?  So I did my first shot that night with Angie  by my side. 

Fast forward to today, I've had conversations with my family, Angie's family, posted it on Fbook to tell my friends that I care about (and the world evidently).  After all the tears shed from nervousness and happiness, the outpouring of love and support fills my heart. 

Most importantly I have the love and support of my wife, I could not do it without her by my side!  I worry about her adjusting but I know we are strong enough to handle it together!

The next step is to get a binder for my chest so I can start visibly becoming a man.  This in turn will help my brain be ready for when the T starts taking effect.  Then hopefully the female pro nouns will stop coming my way!  I know I have to be patient......people need to time to adjust....the T will be slow acting....but I am excited and ready!!  I've read that the voice is the first thing to change.  I know it's my imagination but I swear I already feel my throat changing.  Not possible after three days right?

I will post a pic next shot day then every shot day after that, to track my progress.